Tango-Tiger

Why You’re Getting Unsolicited Career Advice And How To Handle It



Nearly everyone has gotten career guidance or information they didn’t ask for, which was rarely well-received.

One of the reasons we dislike unsolicited advice is that it often feels critical rather than helpful. And if we’re dealing with a repeat offender, it quickly escalates into frustration, resentment, and anger.

So why do people feel compelled to offer it?

In a word: power.

In his Psychology Today summary of a group of four studies analyzing the motivations of chronic advice-givers, Art Markman, Ph. D stated that “…giving advice to others can increase the feeling that you have power. In particular, the researchers suggest that when you advise someone else, it gives you the sense that someone may follow your advice. That belief that you are influencing someone else’s behavior then leads you to feel more powerful.” สล็อต ฝาก-ถอน true wallet

Power-hungry jerks aside, it’s important to note that this may be happening on a completely unconscious level. Some people offer input because they genuinely want to be helpful, or they’re excited to share ideas about something. It’s also possible that they’re trying to reduce their anxiety about an unrelated issue they feel powerless over, so they give advice to you to feel like they’re doing something.

No matter the rationale for offering it, being on the receiving end of unsolicited advice is challenging. Here are a few ways to handle it:

Ignore it completely
This works when someone is obviously pitching you. If your unsolicited career advice comes in the form of a supposedly “helpful” DM, email, or a connection request stating everything you’re doing wrong in your business and what you should be doing instead, feel free to ignore it completely.

Say thank you and move on
As tempted as you may be to roll your eyes or get into a confrontation, disarm and defuse the situation with a simple statement like, “Thanks for sharing your perspective.” This acknowledges that you’ve heard them but doesn’t commit you to their prescribed course of action.

Kindly tell them to stop giving you advice
If you’re the target of a chronic advice-giver and your previous replies have fallen on deaf ears, you’ll need to be more explicit to shut them down. Try saying something like, “Thanks for your opinion, but I already have a plan that works for me. I’ll ask you about it if I need your advice in the future.” And if you suspect they have good intentions, but they’re becoming annoying, say, “I know you’re trying to help, but I don’t need any more advice.”

Take what works and leave the rest
Yes, it’s irritating when someone provides you feedback you didn’t request, but every exchange offers an opportunity to learn if you let it. Move past your initial reaction and allow them to share their thoughts, then decide what valuable nugget you can glean from it.

Consider the source
There’s a difference between receiving unsolicited advice from someone who’s “been there, done that,” knows you well, and whom you trust, and a stranger who hasn’t walked the talk. Even though it may be tough to hear, the unsolicited advice of a mentor you admire is probably worth considering. In contrast, the guidance offered by someone without any knowledge or desired experience isn’t as valuable.